What are
the essential beliefs of The Bridge?
What does
The Bridge believe about communion? What are considered sacraments at The
Bridge?
Will
The Bridge baptize a person who lives unmarried with another person?
What does the bible say about homosexuality?
What is the baptism of the Holy Spirit?
What does it mean to be a chosen people?
What about stem cell research on embryonic tissue?
What is the meaning of "the fear the Lord?"
Can I tithe to another Christian organization?
Should I pay off my debts or tithe?
Do we really have free will?
Jesus as God's son
What does Jesus say about divorce?
Married to an unbeliever
Handling disappointment
Rebuilding trust
Is tithing legalistic?
When to turn the other cheek: Revenge vs. Self Defense
Heaven will pass away?
Women and 1 Corinthians 14?
Tithe on gross or net?
What about suicide?
Is doing drugs really so wrong?
Train up a child...
Helping my child understand God.
What is the meaning of a "New Earth"?
Christian rumors on the web
Why does God bless the evil but not the good?
What about dinosaurs?
Is evolution part of God's plan?
What about people who live in a country without
a Christian witness?
What does the Bible say about drinking alcohol?
What does the Bible say about angels?
Are there animals in heaven?
Do I have to get baptized again at
The Bridge?
Christianity vs. Catholicism
Why do good people die?
Decision for Christ after death
"Due Penalty" Romans 1:27
Easter
Forgiveness
Heaven - For Children
Jesus as a child
Do we have deacons at
The Bridge?
Salvation - Old Testament
Salvation - Can We Feel It?
Salvation - Unbelievers
Salvation - Heaven
Salvation - Unbelievers
Temptation - Jesus
Tithing #1
Tithing #2
Tithing #3
Tithing #4
Trinity
Waiting
Woman Pastors
Worry
God's Sovereignty
Healing
Will heaven pass away?
Where does
The Bridge stand on abortion?
What is
the position of The Bridge on Political and Foreign Policies?
Can homosexuals be members of
The Bridge?
Can unmarried heterosexual couples living together be members of
The Bridge?
What are the essential beliefs of The Bridge?
What We Believe:
ABOUT GOD
God is the Creator and Ruler of the universe. He has eternally existed in three persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. These three are co-equal and are one God.
Genesis 1:1,26,27; 3:22; Psalm 90:2; Matthew 28:19; 1 Peter 1:2; 2 Corinthians 13:14
ABOUT MAN
Man is made in the spiritual image of God, to be like Him in character. He is the supreme object of God´s creation. Although man has tremendous potential for good, he is marred by an attitude of disobedience toward God called "sin". This attitude separates man from God.
Genesis 1:27; Psalm 8:3-6; Isaiah 53:6a; Romans 3:23; Isaiah 59:1,2
ABOUT ETERNITY
Man was created to exist forever. He will either exist eternally separated from God by sin, or in union with God through forgiveness and salvation. To be eternally separated from God is Hell. To be eternally in union with Him is eternal life. Heaven and Hell are places of eternal existence.
John 3:16; John 2:25; John 5:11-13; Romans 6:23; Revelation 20:15; 1 John 5:11-12; Matthew 25:31-46
ABOUT JESUS CHRIST
Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is co-equal with the Father. Jesus lived a sinless human life and offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all men by dying on a cross. He arose from the dead after three days to demonstrate His power over sin and death. He ascended to Heaven´s glory and will return again to earth to reign as King of kings, and Lord of lords.
Matthew 1:22,23; Isaiah 9:6; John 1:1-5, 14:10-30; Hebrews 4:14,15; 1 Corinthians 15:3,4; Romans 1:3,4; Acts 1:9-11; 1 Timothy 6:14,15; Titus 2:13
ABOUT SALVATION
Salvation is a gift from God to man. Man can never make up for his sin by self-improvement or good works. Only by trusting in Jesus Christ as God´s offer of forgiveness can man be saved from sin´s penalty. Eternal life begins the moment one receives Jesus Christ into his life by faith.
Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8,9; John 14:6, 1:12; Titus 3:5; Galatians 3:26; Romans 5:1
ABOUT ETERNAL SECURITY
Because God gives man eternal life through Jesus Christ, the believer is secure in salvation for eternity. Salvation is maintained by the grace and power of God, not by the self-effort of the Christian. It is the grace and keeping power of God that gives this security.
John 10:29; 2 Timothy 1:12; Hebrews 7:25; 10:10,14; 1 Peter 1:3-5
ABOUT THE HOLY SPIRIT
The Holy Spirit is equal with the Father and the Son as God. He is present in the world to make men aware of their need for Jesus Christ. He also lives in every Christian from the moment of salvation. He provides the Christian with power for living, understanding of spiritual truth, and guidance in doing what is right. The Christian seeks to live under His control daily.
2 Corinthians 3:17; John 16:7-13, 14:16,17; Acts 1:8; 1 Corinthians 2:12, 3:16; Ephesians 1:13; Galatians 5:25; Ephesians 5:1
ABOUT THE BIBLE
The Bible is God´s word to all men. It was written by human authors, under the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is the supreme source of truth for Christian beliefs and living. Because it is inspired by God, it is truth without any mixture of error.
2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20,21; 2 Timothy 1:13; Psalm 119:105,160, 12:6; Proverbs 30:5
What does The Bridge believe about communion? What are considered sacraments at The Bridge?
The only sacrament we have at The Bridge is that one would accept Jesus into their heart and confess him as Lord and Savior. Romans 10:9 "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." There are many scriptures on this.
We do celebrate Communion and believe it is one of the two ordinances Christ gave the church. Water baptism would be the other. Since Jesus instituted Holy Communion on a Thursday night and then it was practiced in homes in the New Testament, we don't land on a certain day or time to take communion. We practice communion in our small groups and 3 to 4 times a year in our weekend services.
Here is what we believe about Holy Communion. This is also covered in our Class 101.
The Lord's Supper: Communion With God's Family
Jesus never asked His disciples to remember His birth. But He did instruct them to remember his death and resurrection. He gave the church two visible symbols (called "ordinances") as reminders of His death. These two ordinances are: Baptism and The Lord's Supper. The Lord's Supper is an object lesson that represents a great spiritual truth for believers.
What Is The Lord's Supper? (1 Cor. 11:23-26)
1. It is a SIMPLE ACT: The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread..." (vs. 23)
2. It is a REMINDER: ...and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, 'This is my body, which is for you; eat it in remembrance of me.'" (vs. 24)
3. It is a SYMBOL: In the same way, He took the cup, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood; drink it to remember me.'" (vs. 25)
4. It is a STATEMENT OF FAITH: For whenever you eat the bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes back." (vs. 26)
Who Should Take The Lord's Supper?
1. Only those who are already BELIEVERS (Mark 14:22-26)
2. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment upon himself." 2 Cor. 11:29
How Do I Prepare Myself For The Lord's Supper?
1. Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A person ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup." 1 Cor. 11:27-28
By...
Self-Examination
1 Cor. 11:27 Confessing My Sins
1 John 1:9
Recommitment
Rom. 12:1 Restoring Relationships
Matt. 5:23-24 When and How Often Should We Observe the Lord's Supper?
Jesus never said when or how often believers should observe The Lord's Supper. He instituted it on a Thursday night. In the Bible, Christians observed Communion in small groups in homes.
Will The Bridge Church baptize a person who lives unmarried with another person?
Question: Will The Bridge Church baptize a person who lives unmarried with another person?
Answer: The short answer is yes. However, the logic behind that decision is that at The Bridge baptism does not confer membership to a person. Baptism is just one of the requirements for membership. We follow the New Testament example of Acts 2:41 (among others): "Then they that gladly received his word were baptized:" and baptize any who confess that they have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and desire to follow Him in believer's baptism.
Membership is only conferred after someone has accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, been baptized by immersion, attended The Bridge to Church Membership Class and signed our Membership Covenant agreeing with The Bridge Statement of Faith and agreeing to:
While we will baptize unmarried persons living together without benefit of marriage, we will not accept them into membership because their living arrangement would not support the Testimony of the Church and violates not only God's commandment prohibiting adultery, but also the more general lifestyle guidance of Philippians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."
We would however welcome them to attend our church and be fed by our teaching and ministries and to grow in their understanding of their new Christian walk. As long as they continued in their unbiblical living arrangement they would not be able to be a leader in a ministry because leadership requires church membership.
What does the Bible say about homosexuality?
Question: What does the Bible say about homosexuality?
Answer: The Bible very clearly says that homosexuality is a sin.
"Homosexuality is absolutely forbidden, for it is an enormous sin." Lev. 18:22 (TLB)
"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." 1 Cor 6:9-11 (NIV)
While all sin is destructive, Romans 6 warns us of the great dangers in sexual sin when it says, "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." (1 Cor 6:18 NLT) This includes not only homosexuality, but all sexual immorality: adultery, sex without marriage, pornography. We must not act as if homosexuality is the only serious sexual sin, and we must not act as if homosexuality is not a serious sexual sin.
I've heard it asked, "Isn't being homosexual something that a person is physically born with?" First of all, there are absolutely no facts to support this claim. From time to time studies have been reported in the news that seemed to indicate this, but every one of these studies has proven to be wrong. Secondly, even if some physical difference were discovered, it would be no excuse for sin. We know that some people can develop a stronger physical addiction to alcohol than others, but that's obviously no excuse for living an alcoholic lifestyle.
Finally, a word about being judgmental. It's not judgmental to say that what the Bible calls a sin is a sin, that's just telling the truth. Not being willing to talk to someone caught up in sin, or not believing that they can be forgiven, or thinking that you are not just as much in need of Jesus as they are... that's being judgmental.
What is the baptism of the Holy Spirit?
Question: What are your beliefs regarding the Baptism in the Holy Spirit as a second experience? What are your beliefs on the gifts of the Spirit? That is, speaking in tongues, prophecy, healing, miracles etc? Do you believe they are for today?
Answer: Thanks for your questions about the Holy Spirit. We have a class at The Bridge called "Foundations" that focuses on the answers to questions just like you've asked. The reason we have this class is because we know people like you have questions!
The Bible teaches that, at the moment you believe in Jesus, you are baptized and sealed by the Holy Spirit. This one time experience that comes at the moment of salvation is God's powerful way of declaring, "You're in my family and I'm not going to let you go." The baptism of the Spirit happens the moment you are saved, so you do not need a second experience.
Eph. 5:18 teaches us that we must be FILLED with the Spirit on a continual basis as believers... allowing Him, in a fresh and new way, to cleanse and control our lives. Many believers have a number of experiences throughout their lives of trusting the Spirit to fill them in a deeper way than they ever have before. For some, this can FEEL like a second experience of somehow getting "more" of God's Spirit. The truth is, you receive all of God's Spirit the moment you are saved, and throughout your life will learn to trust more and more of yourself to Him.
From the first days of the church, people have always been more impressed with the spiritual gifts that are more spectacular (healing, tongues, etc). God tells us in 1 Corinthians 12-14 that He is more impressed with the less noticeable gifts, and that He is most impressed with love. Those chapters are filled with warnings about using those more spectacular gifts in ways that draw attention to ourselves rather than to the Lord. Paul says that he would rather speak in a few words that people would understand than in thousands of words in tongues. That is why we don't speak in tongues in our worship services - we want to speak in ways that people understand.
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Ephesians 5:18
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13
What does it mean to be a chosen people?
Question: The Jews. They follow the laws as handed down to Moses. They do not accept Jesus Christ. How can they be saved and insure their place in heaven? If they are God's chosen people, surely there is some explanation.
Answer: When you begin to think about how those who have a Jewish heritage come to salvation, the best answer is in looking at the first followers of Jesus. The first disciples were all Jewish men, but their salvation came through their relationship with Christ - not their Jewish background. The same is true of the apostle Paul and every other Jew who came to Christ in the New Testament. The truth of the Bible is, we all come to salvation in the same way... through our faith in Christ. When God calls the Jews His chosen people it does not mean that they are all automatically chosen for salvation. It means that they were chosen to be the nation that would follow Him and teach others what it meant to follow Him. That is why Jesus went to the Jewish people first when He came to this earth. Through the Jewish people (Jesus Himself was a Jew) He brought the blessing of salvation to the world.
Of course, today there are not as great a number of Jewish believers in Jesus as we would expect. If they are God's chosen people, why aren't more choosing faith in Him? The Bible tells us in Romans 11 that there will be a day when this will change - a day when there will be a great revival of faith in God through Jesus among the Jewish people. Obviously this is a day that we, as believers in Christ, want to pray for!
To the Jews, I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law, I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law, I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 1 Corinthians 9:20-21
Therefore, no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:20-241
What about stem cell research on embryonic tissue?
Answer: The question about stem cell research is a question about life. It is about improving the quality of life for all of us.
Who wouldn't want to improve the quality of life by discovering a cure for cancer, or a way to grow a new heart or a new kidney? If you believe that embryonic tissue is not a living person, or even if you are in doubt about that fact, you'll most likely come down on the side of feeling that research is warranted.
However, if you believe that life begins at the moment of conception, your response is far different. Something in you recoils at the words in the White House fact sheet, Federal funds will only be used for research on existing stem cell lines that were derived: (1) with the informed consent of the donors; (2) from excess embryos created solely for reproductive purposes; and (3) without any financial inducements to the donors.
The words "excess embryos" hit you deeply. How could any life be spoken of as "excess"? Even more horrifying to you are statements you read about creating an embryo in a test tube in order to destroy it. Much of the argument about stem cell research seems to focus on what ifs." What if people clone themselves just for the extra body parts. What if we developed embryos only to harvest their cells for our benefit." You're not so worried about these possibilities - they sound like science fiction to you. Your concern is with the present; with the way that life is being treated now.
The question is - what does the Bible have to say about when life begins?
You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother's body... You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body. When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed. All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old. Psalm 139:13, 15-16 (NCV)
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
Psalm 139 tells us that God knows us personally while we are being formed in the womb, and Jeremiah 1:5 is one of many verses in the Bible that clearly show that even before we were conceived God knew us as persons. Life begins when God creates, and the Bible tells us that that happens in the womb.
President Bush's decision to allow federal funding of research only on existing stem cell lines (cells that have already been taken from an embryo) has drawn mixed reaction even from conservative Christians. Some applaud the fact that he has cut off the possibility of funding for any newly created or destroyed embryos, others feel that any use of cells harvested from embryos cheapens the value of human life. These groups continue to agree, however, on the fact that an embryo is human life - a unique creation of God.
You see, the stem cell question really is about quality of life. But, quality of life is not limited to our physical health. We are more than body parts, we have a soul. The choice to treat a living person as a medical commodity will do more damage to our soul - to our quality of life - than a thousand cloned hearts could heal.
I encourage you to think not so much about the President's decision as YOUR decision. As believers in Christ, we are called upon to think differently and to act differently than the world around us. This is one of those opportunities.
What can you do?
1. Let others know, in a reasoned way, why you believe what you believe. The truth has the power to set people free.
2. Make the decision yourself to treat life as life. That may mean:• Accepting responsibility for an abortion that you had or encouraged someone to have in the past, knowing that God WILL forgive you. (This is a TOUGH decision for any who have rationalized an abortion.)
• Deciding against any infertility options that allow embryos to be frozen and later discarded. (This is a TOUGH decision for couples who have yet to have a child.)
• Deciding to speak out against overzealous stem cell research, even though you know it slows down the process of finding a possible cure for someone you love.(These are the most difficult sentences in this article to write. Having heard the pain of abortion and of infertility, knowing the desperation that many families feel as they are looking for the hope of a cure; I know how easily these words could sting. Please accept them, instead, as the words of someone who cares about you and who knows that God will meet you as you make these tough decisions of faith.)
3. Pray for those who have the power to make decisions on this issue: scientists and governments alike. Ask God to help them to see that they are making decisions that are impacting not just people's bodies, but also our souls.
4. Remember that God is still in control. He will bring to Himself the innocent baby and the parent seeking for faith. He will direct and guide those who have the humility to ask for His wisdom. And, as He always has throughout history, He will show Himself as the real God to any who would attempt to play God.
What is the meaning of "the fear the Lord?"
Question: What does the Bible mean when it talks about "the fear of the Lord?" I thought that love was supposed to cast out fear. Is the word "fear" being translated in the wrong way in these Old Testament passages?
Answer: You hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that perfect love casts out fear... so we can't have a loving relationship with God in which we are also terrified or afraid of Him.
I don't think that the word is translated wrong in the Old Testament... it's just that we have a more one dimensional idea of the word fear today. The word fear also carries the idea of having a deep respect for someone's position or power. I'm still learning what it means to see God, at the same time, as your best friend AND as the ultimate power in all of the universe. Unfortunately, these days we lean a little too hard towards the "friend" side of that equation... and so, sometimes act as if we can take advantage of God's grace or flaunt His power. The "fear of the Lord" is a phrase that reminds us to keep our respect for God's power in balance with our appreciation of His tender love.
His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel , remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers." Luke 1:50-55
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:7
Can I tithe to another Christian organization?
Answer: If you would ask this other ministry, or any other Para-church organization, they would give you the same advice that I would. First give your tithe to the church, and then give any gifts beyond that to meet other needs. The reason for giving to the church first is because it is the Christ ordained body for doing His work in the world today. Also, just to think practically, the more healthy the church gets and the more people the church reaches and teaches, the more people there will be to give to ministries such as this one you are talking about.
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:10
Should I pay off my debts or tithe?
Answer: The Bible encourages us to do both, not one or the other. In fact, one of the keys to paying off debts is beginning to tithe. It not only brings God's blessing to a person's finances, it also helps them to begin to think more sacrificially, to plan more carefully and to see God's direction more clearly.
The Lord answered, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. Luke 12:42-44
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:11
Do we really have free will?
Question: How could God know and plan everything that will happen and yet also give us a free choice? Aren't these two ideas mutually exclusive?
Answer: One of the great truths of the Bible is that God is able to know and be in control of all that happens (the Bible calls this predestination), and yet still give us free will and individual choice within that plan. Of course, it looks to us as if that were impossible. But that's why God is God and we're not!
One picture that has always helped me to understand these twin truths of God's sovereignty and our free will is that of two ropes hanging before you and extending through the ceiling above your head. One is marked predestination" and the other free will." If you were able to look through the ceiling you could see that the two ropes are actually one, hanging on a pulley above the ceiling. God can see, in ways that we cannot see, the ways that these seemingly contradictory facts are actually one powerful truth. Our free choice cannot violate God's sovereignty and God's sovereignty cannot violate our free choice.
The other way that the rope picture helps me is as a reminder that I can't lean more heavily on one of these two truths - God's will and our choice - than the other. Be sure to keep these truths in balance. If you lean too far toward God's being in control, you come down on the side of fatalism: it doesn't matter what we do. If you lean too far towards man's free will, you come down on the side of humanism: we are in control of our fate.
How do you reconcile those two? If God gives us choice, doesn't that put us in control rather than Him? Our God is an awesome God! He is able to give us, as a part His creation, a free will to decide, and yet still remain in complete control of His creation. How does He do that? He is God!
Struggling to understand truths such as this reminds me of how great God really is. If I were able to completely understand Him, He wouldn't be God!
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. Romans 8:29-30
Jesus as God's son
Question: If you had two minutes to convince a person of Jewish belief about Jesus being our Lord and Savior what would you say? This person has difficulty understanding that Jesus is God's Son. Approaching people with other beliefs is a weak spot for me.
Answer: Your friend may be struggling with feeling that Jesus is somehow not really God, and that to follow Him would be to miss out on serving the REAL God. Explaining the fact that Jesus did miracles that only God could do and that He was proclaimed to be God by the prophets, His own followers as well as God the Father and that He proved who He was God by His resurrection, just might help your friend to see that believing in Jesus would not be a denial of his or her faith, but the fulfillment of their faith.
Here are a few Scriptures that I'd encourage you to study regarding the truth that Jesus is the God who can save and direct us.
God is creator - Isaiah 44:24 Jesus is creator - Colossians 1:15-16
God is savior - Isaiah 43:11 Jesus is savior - Titus 2:13
God is the I am - Exodus 3:14 Jesus is the I am - John 8:58
Jesus says, I and the Father are one." John 10:30
There is one mediator between God and man, Jesus Christ." I Timothy 2:5
What does Jesus say about divorce?
Question: My question is about God. If after legal separation there was no change in my spouse, does God recognize this as an acceptable reason to terminate the marriage? I tend to think that if there is no change then it should be acceptable to leave the marriage.
Answer: The Bible does not say that it is right for us to leave our spouse for any reason. It does tell us to be at peace if they leave us through adultery or desertion. God says this not to trap us, but to help us to see the importance of marriage and the great pain that comes when a marriage is broken.
God want us to grow in our relationships, and He wants to grow us even through painful relationships. In cases such as you're speaking of here, the most important thing to do is for the couple to get into counseling together. It is not enough for one spouse to go, both must go. This is a problem that can't be dealt with alone, but where we need the help of others. There is nothing wrong with getting help, by the way... God has built us to need other people.
One of the pictures that I often give people to help in understanding this need for outside help is that of being in quicksand. Sometimes an individual or a couple find themselves in a problem, and the harder they fight to get out, the more they feel like they are sinking in quicksand. In those times you won't find the answer by yourself. The harder you work the faster you seem to sink! You need someone outside of the situation (a good Christian counselor) to give you a hand to help to lift you out of the quicksand. But you will need to both trust this counselor to help you, knowing that they have your best interests at heart.
As I said earlier, the Bible does allow divorce when the other person leaves us through adultery or desertion. Actually, in those cases they have left us rather than us leaving them. There is a third condition which I feel a need to talk about, that of physical abuse. Although the Bible does not tell you to divorce if this is the case, my advice would STRONGLY be to separate from your spouse for your protection. It is not God's will for you to allow your spouse (or anyone else) to continue to physically abuse you. Hopefully, that separation will be the wake up call that causes them to get counseling to rid their lives of this terrible sin.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:3-9
Married to an unbeliever
Question: I've become a believer but my husband is still an unbeliever. We seem to constantly argue about my new faith, and I'm wondering if it just wouldn't be better for us to get a divorce. Does God have anything to say about this?
Answer: This is one of the relationship issues about which God speaks most clearly in the Bible. In 1 Corinthians 7 He talks very directly about the circumstance of a believer being married to an unbeliever. You can see the answer to your question yourself, straight out of the Bible. Look at what verses 12-15 of that chapter say:
"If a Christian has a wife who is not a Christian, but she wants to stay with him anyway, he must not leave her or divorce her. And if a Christian woman has a husband who isn't a Christian, and he wants her to stay with him, she must not leave him."
For perhaps the husband who isn't a Christian may become a Christian with the help of his Christian wife. And the wife who isn't a Christian may become a Christian with the help of her Christian husband. Otherwise, if the family separates, the children might never come to know the Lord; whereas a united family may, in God's plan, result in the children's salvation.
"But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian is eager to leave, it is permitted. In such cases the Christian husband or wife should not insist that the other stay, for God wants his children to live in peace and harmony." 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 (TLB)
Handling disappointment
Question: Someone that I was very close to really let me down, and I don't know what to do with the feelings of anger that I'm having. They didn't come through when I needed them to, and I just don't know if I can forgive them.
Answer: Your question seems to focus on "what do you do when someone disappoints you?" The truth is, we're all disappointed by people much of the time. Sometimes it is because of their lack of follow through, sometimes it is because we have too great an expectation. Whatever the cause, I've found it important to face those disappointments with a sense of humility. Humility reminds me that I, myself, let others down, that often I don't understand why people do the things they do, that there are times when someone may be doing the best they can under the circumstances, and that I can't see the hidden hurts and pressures of another's life. With that humility, I can then talk to the other person about it, not with a sense of judgment but with the gentleness of understanding that allows me a better opportunity to be heard. Before giving this other person your forgiveness, first try giving them your understanding. You may then discover that their actions toward you are not willful sin, but instead just a matter of their being human.
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:1-5
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. Philippians 2:5-10
Rebuilding trust
Question: Does forgiving someone mean you have to just let them keep hurting you?
Answer: No, it does not. Remember that, when God forgives us, we still suffer the consequences for those sins. That same principle applies to our relationships with each other.
Let me explain. Forgiving someone's wrong does not mean that you can't challenge them to do what is right or that you automatically should begin to trust them to do what is right. Forgiving someone for lying does not mean you have to start believing everything they say. Even though you have forgiven them, it will take them some time to rebuild your trust. That's the consequence of their sin. Forgiveness is immediate, trust must be rebuilt little by little.
Let me be very clear about this. Forgiving someone does not mean that you have to pretend that the sin they committed against you never happened. That would be foolish, and in cases such as physical abuse it could even be life threatening. Forgiveness means that you let go of your feelings of anger and retribution and hatred. It does not mean that you have to allow another person to continually hurt you in the same ways.
"Be kind and compassionate to another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Eph. 4:32
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." Matthew 6:14
"Forgive , and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37
Is tithing legalistic?
Question: Isn't the idea of giving 10% to the Lord just a legalistic, Old Testament rule? Why would we, as new covenant believers, do this today?
Answer: To help you with your question about us being under the new covenant... new covenant Christians can and should live out God's moral and spiritual direction in the Old Testament. Jesus taught us in the Sermon on the Mount that we should do it with a new heart and a greater passion, not as rules to be kept, but as directions from God's heart to ours. Of course you can make God's direction to tithe something that you do legalistically, just as you could make attending church or reading the Bible rules that you keep rather than a lifestyle God directs.
I don't know all of the reasons why God gave us the direction to give 10% so often in the Bible, but I do know that this is a number that is high enough to be a real faith challenge to me. I can't imagine God asking us to give in a way that would not be a challenge and a sacrifice. I sometimes tell people (a little tongue in cheek, I must admit) that, if you're really worried about 10% being a legalistic requirement, just give 20% or 30% and then you'll erase that concern!
"Just as you excel in everything else... in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness... see that you also excel in the grace of giving." 2 Corinthians 8:7
When to turn the other cheek: Revenge vs. Self Defense
Question: I have a question that is relative to what the Bible says about not enacting revenge. My six-year-old son has a neighbor boy, seven, who is mean to him at times. He grabs him by his wrists and twists them hard, or else grabs his fingers and bends them backwards.
Answer: NOWHERE in the Bible are we prohibited from defending ourselves. Even when Jesus told us to "turn the other cheek" he was talking about someone who had already insulted you, not a person who was threatening physical harm.
You can feel confident about telling your son it is OK to defend himself. Of course, he'll have to do that in a way that fits with the rules of his school... the Bible has a lot to say about respecting authority. You wouldn't want your son to hit the other boy and then end up being the one in trouble. But there are no playground rules (and nothing in the Bible) that would keep him from strongly saying, "Stop that now" or from pushing someone away who is trying to hurt him.
There is a difference between defending yourself from harm and taking revenge for an insult or a hurt. We are told again and again in the Bible to not take revenge for the hurts that have already happened to us. To help you to picture this, Jesus did not tell us it was wrong to block someone's attempt to slap us. However, if we are slapped, He told us to turn the other cheek rather than slapping them back. He said this not because He wanted us to be punished with another slap, but because He knew that retaliation always resulted in an escalation of violence. As you know, the person who does not have to retaliate is the one showing the real courage - and is the one who often causes the violence to stop right then and there. To apply this principle to your son's situation: he should defend himself when confronted but should not walk up to the other boy and hit him because of what happened on the playground yesterday.
Revenge isn't swinging back when someone is swinging at you. Revenge is when we make a plan to get back at someone who took a swing at us yesterday, or last month.
"Do not say, 'I'll pay you back for this wrong!' Wait for the LORD, and He will deliver you." Proverbs 20:22
Heaven will pass away?
Question: I came across a verse that raised some questions. It's found in Matthew 24:35 Jesus says, "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." Can you shed some light on this verse and what it means?
Answer: God is eternal, and we will be in His presence, in a physical place called heaven, for all of eternity, as believers. The group is right about that, and that's what makes us think that heaven, as it is now, will last forever. However, in Revelation. 21, God tells us that, when this world ends, He will not only create a new earth, but also a new heaven. The PLACES of heaven and earth as they are now will pass away, to be replaced by a new heaven and earth where we will live together with the Lord forever. The PEOPLE who are now with the Lord will obviously continue to live forever with Him whether in the old heaven or the new heaven.
Why does God need to create a new heaven? I don't know! The Bible doesn't tell us exactly why. One obvious reason might be that, since the new earth will be a perfect place, there will be a greater connection between this new heaven and earth than there is between earth and heaven now. You'll be able to go back and forth between them, for instance.
"All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay." Romans 8:21 (NLT)
Women and 1 Corinthians 14?
Question: I was reading in 1 Corinthians 14:34 that women are not allowed to speak in the church. Whoa - what's up with this!?
Answer: Historical perspective REALLY helps with this one. In that day, men and women sat on different sides of the church. For a woman to ask her husband a question she would have to shout it to the other side of the church or disrupt the church service by getting up and walking over to him. Apparently, this is exactly what was happening in the Corinthian church, and their worship services were becoming a zoo. Paul is saying, "Listen during the worship service, and talk about your questions on the way home."
This verse can also be understood in light of its context. Paul is talking about the topic of speaking in tongues not just speaking. So, in that context he instructs the women not to speak in tongues.
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ if God." 1 Cor. 11:3
Tithe on gross or net?
Question: I know that tithing is supposed to be giving 10% to the Lord. Is that 10% of the gross or of the net after taxes? I don't know that I could afford to give 10% of what I earn before taxes!
Answer: Thanks for your well thought out question about tithing. The practice that Christians have always carried out is the giving of 10% back to the Lord of ALL that the Lord has given to you - your gross. It's not really a tithe to subtract out our largest payments and then give 10% out of the remainder.
I know that this is a tremendous challenge. That's the idea! The Lord could have asked us to give 50% to Him, but He chose 10%. I believe that this is because that is an amount large enough that it takes a real act of faith and trust to give it to him. God is not interested in our money so much as He is interested in what it represents: our heart and priorities. The beauty is that, when we give out of a good heart, God then uses it to bless not only us, but many others.
I've talked to many people who felt exactly like you've expressed in this note before they began giving, "There's no way I could give like that, even though I might want to!" Yet when they've started to give they have seen God bless them in a way that was life changing. And it's not always that He gives us more money, sometimes He stretches what we have in miraculous ways.
You wouldn't have written this note if you weren't serious about wanting to follow the Lord. I'd encourage you to start now and make the sacrifice to tithe beginning this next month. Read Malachi chapter 3 (its the last book in the Old Testament.) You'll find a verse where God encourages us to "test me in this" by tithing. As you step out in faith, you will begin to see God work in a great way in your heart and in your finances. Remember the law of sowing and reaping. We will always reap what we sow, but there is always a time period between sowing and reaping. Although it probably will not come with the timing or in the way that you expect, you can trust God to be faithful to bless your giving.
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. Malachi 3:10
What about suicide?
Question: I heard that suicide is an unpardonable sin, and that people who commit suicide will go to hell no matter what they believed. Is this true?
Answer: Suicide is not an unforgivable sin. The idea that it is unforgivable comes from thinking that, since you don't have time to confess that sin after you've committed it (because it is a sin that brings your death), you would be trying to get into heaven with an unconfused and unforgiven sin on your record.
The Bible tells us that, when we become believers in Jesus, He forgives ALL of our sins. That includes not only sins in our past, but all of the sins we will commit in the future. If this were not true, we would have to confess our sins every second of every day, fearful that a car might hit us or a heart attack might come in those moments after we'd committed a sin and before we had time to confess it. God and His forgiveness are obviously greater than that.
While God will forgive the sin of a believer who commits suicide, there is horrible loss any time a person takes their own life; the loss of a life that could have made a real difference in the world and the loss of the rewards for our work on earth that could have been enjoyed in heaven. If you know someone considering suicide have them come in and talk to our lay counseling ministry... they'll get the encouragement they need to make the right choice, the choice to live.
"...But if anyone does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world" 1 John 2:1,2
Is doing drugs really so wrong?
Question: I'm a new believer who really wants to live my life for God. One struggle I'm really facing is quitting the drug habit I started many years ago. I've been wondering, is this really so wrong? Even though I know it might be bad for me, it's not really hurting anyone, is it?
Answer: Doing drugs is wrong - it is a sin - for two reasons. First, it is mistreating the body that is God's temple. God tells us to treat this body in the best way possible because it is where He lives, now that you are a believer. You can also mistreat your body by over-eating, smoking and many other things. Although none of us are perfect, we want to treat the body the Lord gave us in the best way possible. Doing drugs is also a sin because it is against the law... and the Bible very clearly tells us in Romans 13 that we, as believers, are to respect the laws of the land that we live in. Even though you may not agree with the law (many people don't like the law that says they have to pay taxes!) you still keep the law out of respect for God.
In order to change this habit you need help. Don't try to go it alone. Get into a small group! Through this you'll find the power for change that can come only from Christ and the value of getting strength from others who are working to change in the same way as you.
"Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)